:- Zdarlight: A Dance to Self-Destruction

Zdarlight: A Dance to Self-Destruction

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in october '08 singapore - st james powerhouse)

The mounting pressure erupts its way throughout me
Gripping me down as I struggle to break free
Spinning hurts twisting with a terrible ache
Not much longer my soul will disintegrate
A gyrating dance of my lifetime whirlwinds within my realm
Stranger is what I am
living now

The binding zdarlight is what I see
Casting a blinding moment within my sight
Spirited chillness with its merciless glacial feel
Slowly hardening the ice inside my pumping heart
With cold icicles that continue sharpening the prick
The road to my gyrating dance feels hollow
Alientation is what I am
feeling now

Time and again, I disco-ed away my life
Lingering behind me is the pain and strife of my alcoholic identity
Pushing me, leading me, holding me down and yet freeing me
Moving ahead with an aimless life
Carelessness with no future and intention in life is what I am
seeing now

Mystical swaying in ceremonial moves
Makes my body feel like I am about to lose
All cares I had to what else occurs
I want to dance and frolic the hard-earned bodies atop of the pyre
With the zdarlight blinding shining upon me
Until I get burned
Until I disappear
and shalt never return

Hypnotism and the euphoric feel
Intoxicatication with its esctasy
I am lost in a self-destructed dance and am unaware
I will feel the fire now versus breathing in the ashes of despair
I will destroy myself beyond comprehension and repair
The self gratification is taking it's toll
But I am not going to care

Left with a pessimisitic mind and
holding a half potent concortion of death
With the zdarlight continues to halo my life
I made entrance to the dancefloor with aplenty awe weeping stare
and not turning back to my road of self-destruction.

This poem made use of the "zdarlight" (clubs laser lightings) concept and ideas, to accentuate the dance of death - the road to self-destruction; questioning the identity and purpose of life, on November 24, 2008.

:- Your Smile (a Heaven's Gift)

Your Smile (a Heaven's Gift)

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in june '08 singapore - dunman's leadership training camp)

Life isn't always kind,

but your smile brings peace of mine.

Found within millions of smiles it shall glow, I extend
my smile to you, and a heartfelt hug,

hoping my words of fine give your

heart that tingling 'tug.'

There are days when nothing seems

right, but you will find

such tranquil harmony within the harmless night.

The heavenly stars, as they

dance and glimmer about, bringing you a smile,

without any doubt.

The moons loving glow as it halos

upon your gentle heart, anticipating

your wonderful smile to begin its start. The shiny flecks night

sky, will not give you up, it will

always be there, to guide and company you through.

It's beauty way beyond measure, the

angels watching over you with such awe tender care.

So smile my friend, let the tenderness in your heart comes

shining through.

Wear that joyful smile as if it was a crown,

well deserved, lumininating happiness all around. The

Heaven's will share smiles for a life time,

in the sparkles of the stars dear friend

of mine.

Together with the stars, our smiles

will dance, your worries will

flee like the opaque clouds, smiling and favouring the

Heaven's embrace. So smile my

friend, let your gentle smile to your godly

Heaven's ascend.

This poem was composed to augment the true definition of individual's smile; beautiful, pure and enlightening as it can be. The persona hardly craft a composition with the elements of happiness and joy, and this poem shall marks its first: giving "delight" a second chance to cast away the blog's gloominess.

In this picture: Model laughing aloud is Mavis Soo.

:- soaring with my sojourn wings

With sojourn wings, i fly

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in august '08 singapore - east coast bedok jetty)

I see the day-glow sky
with sojourn clouds I fly
Racing high for the morning dew
hoping to see the sun anew

Gloominess strikes the dark, foul, murky night
ceases with its dreadful fright
How the soul sweeps up to a mighty height
with my wings reaching for the freedom's flight

Living my dreams once again
not caring for how nor when I begin
With my stealthily soaring wings I fly
to see the day-glow sky before I die

Rise onwards to the sky's stairway
rejoice my bittersweet moments in the coming day
Shaking off a troubled mind
with breathless wings we (hopefully) climb

I see the day-glow sky once again
with sojourn wings I fly
Yearning to see the sun anew
for the fear of my lost hope

With sojourn wings I climb
I see the day-glow sky

This poem was composed to parallel the common belief of thinking "there is a silver lining behind each cloud"; of hope, faith, and nothing more than sheer decadence, which doesn't hold a certain truth.

:- bittersweet white

Bittersweet White
by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in nov' 04 south new zealand - christchurch road trip)

Alone
like a shell left on a far off seashore
constantly being wash to have it sore
surrounded by the echos of my roving horrowing sorrow
as I lie afraid in the dark corner all too narrow.

Always alone
like a soul roaming the worn out mountain top
like Frankenstein's monster,
all lost up in the solitary sorrowful solitude stop.
No one here. No one there to hear.
No one here to see. Not even there a hungry tempermental bear.

Alone lonely
like a lonely cloud in its blooming blues
fleeing along the shades of godly hues
where lies my fiery fired heart
as I wind my way up like a wounded hart.

Alone and alone
like a torn among the dandelion
where white being singled from the purples
grasping at every inch of happiness and faithfulness
creating a love's oracle for only you
and me.

Lonely and forlorn
with only you - the purples to watch me so cruelly
naked in agony am I as I wither to die
ruffling reality where my grief haunts me time and again.

Change me no more
as I accept whatever you have done to me.

This poem was composed to accentuate the degrees of loneliness; making definite references to flowers, sea, sky and general nature, on July 18th, 2008.

:- if ever lasting love exists

Holding you tight

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken on a random day of '06 singapore - pulau ubin)

Hold me tight, under the sweet kisses of the sunset

let God's reds and oranges hues soothe your eyes

with blues and purples of seduction raging our fieries

like this is all a dream.

Hold me tight, under the tender kisses of the sunset

peck-a-gentle of your affections into my heart

kiss me while i glee with sweetness

walk my silk-clad shirt off my rugged shoulders.

Hold me tight, under the passionate kisses of the sunset

hear me chuckle as I whisper words of the untold

scent me profoundly like you have never did before

taste me passionately as you do the same-

staring deep into my eyes.

Hold me tight, under the adoring kisses of the sunset

walk me down to the crescent reflective bay

I don't mind; with you it could be anywhere

where it is only you and I

making this dream a come-true.

Hold me tight, as the moon ushers its way

echo my name, scream for me

and let me hear you at every corners of my world

light me up like all those years ago.

Hold me tight, while the day is coming to its end

I whisper to you as you close your eyes

I give you my last living kiss as you bid me goodbye

silently.

This poem was composed to align sunset beauty with lasting love, a love nearing its end when the night ushers its way in, on June 18th, 2008.

:- Up on the Mountain

Up on the mountain

by melvin (the persona)

(award-winning picture taken in nov' 04 south new zealand - christchurch: random shots along the roadtrip)

Up on a mountain
Reaching for the sky,
I've accomplished
More than meets the eye.

The mountain stands mighty
Majestic as it always be
Standing in nonchalance
With foliage and fauna bowing to its awe.

With only seasons
Making changes to its appearance
Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter
Only the hues of warmth can I sense its clear presence.

I peeked through my glasses
With seams of light puncturing my sight
Stealing glances on and off
Awed myself with both beauty and masculine height.

And up on the mountain
Overseeing the far and near sights
With distinctive dots of civilisations across the horizon
Clouds of hopes and dreams are never fleeting even till the nights.

Up on a mountain
Reaching for the sky,
I have accomplished
More than meets my eye.

This poem was composed to amplify the spectacular awes of physical beauty; in this case a normal-looking common mountain. Pure imaginations were channeled into this creation to deliver accurate sights and feels of being on the top of the mountain.

the tree; my life

The Tree of Life

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in april '08 singapore - sentosa)

My ears hear that of restless trees,

the wind howls gently on the flowers,

never shall it fall,

never shall it call.

Up I look to the nearing-tangerine sky,

as it I yearn for some answers in my endearing life .

The rustling I heard resembles a familiar sound,

for it resembles the agony and troubles befall upon me,

every limb seemed to reach for the sky,

reaching out for a help in need.

Crimson leaves falling to red-lipped flowers,

fallen "hopes" slowly float down to join the other solitaries.

Looking for answers in the smallest of bugs,

wondering how they truly make their sweetest of sound,

I fear swirling down into my self-created abyss,

not knowing I've fallen into,

chanting and living in fear for the bitter worst.

Walking slowly among the golden leaves and towering "flowers",

glancing my eyes up to meet that of the great tangerine sky.

Lying on this bed of amber leaves,

eyes glaring up at the cool-scarlet sky,

the crown of gold sits upon the trees,

as I triangle-d afar my aging fingers,for the searing beam of light.

A smile eclipse upon and finally I close my eyes to hear the rustles,

bees take their leave and say their last adieu to my gentle flowers.

So as I tried all my might reaching out for the sky,

Sights,

Sounds,

and thoughts of the past amassing my mind.

And the last sound I hear is that of my peaceful tree.

This poem was composed, by utilising summer imageries to affectionately display the persona's wheel of life; his struggle for survival, on April 29th, 2008.

:- if only it comes in a pair

Songbirds

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in dec '05 europe - west germany trip)

Flakes of snow glisten

as the sun shines down

the bitter wind blows cold

and the song birds frown

winter is here

and summer is gone

the song birds remain silent

all winter long

walking down alone

with only the winds howling through my bone

like the song birds, with companion till death parts

all winter long

summer warmth shall they wait

so they can sing lovely songs

they wait for summer

all winter long

Alone, I waited for summer that long

with only lovely songs echoing along

my footprints remain a pair

only to grieve with great despair

finally summer is here

and the birds sing their songs

they have waited for summer

all winter long

never will i hear the love songs

as i cease from this heartless abyss

leaving me in the cold with no wrongs

and no love begins from anybody's axis

This poem was composed, by making use of the winter imageries and its associate links of the mythical songbirds, to accentuate the persona's loneliness, on April 3rd, 2008.

:- getting passionate

Passionate

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken on a random night of '07)

Dip your finger in my bittersweet honey

one by one

glistening cherry-like buttons

slip it apart

at lip's gentle touch

tread the tender yet curvature mountain path

at slope of dewfall

your thumb will sculpt out

the clam-shell contour of my ear

I turn my face to your

sweet-scented lustful palm

pressing it tightly to my mouth

sorrow melts away eternally

like the ink of the squid in crystal blue water

your sweat and sauce forms a pool in my navel

(how great and intense can it be)

or my tear falls, turning through space

to splash

like a sigh on your skin

there is no other tomorrows

which dawns glows in insanity pink

there is only flooded heartbeats in union --

and fusion

this poem was randomly composed, in one of the persona's 3am sensual nights, on Jan 1st, 2008.

:- leaving it in absolute darkness

In This City

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in july '07 thailand - bangkok trip)

Imagine this

Silence fills the weary night

No music to serenade while the crows slumber

The stars shine dimmer here

In the city of no return

Where children starve

And alcohol impairs the addicted

Where drugs rule the sullied streets

And innocence is stolen away

Darkness reigns this city

Light casts more darkness; shadows

Where the cruel hides away

With their deceits and lies

Hope is lost so quickly

In this filthy city of the broken

Where even the cry and groan of children

Are quieted and ignored

Where even the most talented

Are shunned and their dreams crushed

Hate rules this city

Love is forgotten so hastily

Revenge burns their hearts

Splitting up so many more

With deaths of the pure

And killings of the wrongly accused

In this city where everything burns

Even these words burn to ashes

And blow away in the wind

This poem was composed, to discuss about vices being rampant in metropolitans, and how it can impale civilisations, on Dec 26th, 2007.

:- let the whites do the talking

The Mountain to the Pine

by Clarence Hawkes

(picture taken in dec '05 europe - switzerland, jungfourjouh trip)

THOU tall, majestic monarch of the wood,
That standeth where no wild vines dare to creep,
Men call thee old, and say that thou hast stood
A century upon my rugged steep;
Yet unto me thy life is but a day,
When I recall the things that I have seen, ---
The forest monarchs that have passed away
Upon the spot where first I saw thy green;
For I am older than the age of man,
Or all the living things that crawl or creep,
Or birds or air, or creatures of the deep;
I was the first dim outline of God's plan:
Only the waters of the restless sea
And the infinite stars in heaven are old to me.


The poem was selected, as it aptly illustrates the snow-capped physical beauties of mother nature.

:- the walk of one's life

Walking till dusk

by melvin (the persona)

(picture taken in dec '04 new zealand - christchurch trip)

If only things were that simple,
to cruise through life smelling roses;
but the obstructions worsen the meadow fields,
and we unwittingly crush them beneath our soles.

Dreams sustain us through the madness;
goals give a finish line to our race.
Yet they change with every turn, around every wall,
and remain elusive throughout our paces.

Mistakes are made, and regrets are our baggage;
we will drag the burdens with us to slow us down.
Victories are just flashes of glams, sudden and unlasting, which allow us
to glimpse the road ahead before darkness descends.

Love is bitter, yet it is the bread that hold us.
Over and over it fills us up, only to starve us.
People whom we love sculpt our destinies and strengths,
yet leave us so cold and alone in the darkness.

There are others trying to race with the wind and to the end;
occasionally, we bump into one or two.
The bonds we form help us down the path less lonely
but eventually, we lose each other in the dark.

Alone is not a bad way it seems;
it clears your muddle-head and focuses you on the journey.
Cherish the short intervals during the quest you have,
but be prepared to walk alone till dusk.

This poem was composed locally, based on an inspiration of the long endless road picture (as shown above), which resembles the persona's singular never-ending life journey, on Dec 13th, 2007.

:- bringing love to a next level

The Lust
by Melvin (the persona)

Bodies Entwined
Hearts Resounding
the shivers beads of perspiration
coming and going

Those inhibited places
opening up:
slowly, gently and...

delicately
losing inhibitions
new sensations

A sensual touch here
and a seductive touch there
smokeless flames!
a miracle invisible
between "the two of us"...

Yet to You and Me
engulfed in passion...
lustful love or lovable lust?

Let love be there
and lust be too...

A heavenly feeling
for me and you
feel yourself and feel me too

Erotic fantasies unfold...
Dreams come true
Me for You and Only You
just the way you wanted to...!

This poem was written in one of his "sensual" nights on Sept, 30th, 2006.

:- solitary. art thou thee...

Solitude
by Melvin (the persona)

Another bottle of whisky
drowning in my own misery
Wrapped within solitude
swallowed up in deep sorrow
Feels like the end of the world
slipping myself into darkness eternal

One bullet in the chamber
numb-cold-despair without hope
Body useless
this heart beaten down and broken
Feels like the end of the world
slipping myself into darkness eternal

Shadows of death
keep hanging around
Whispering my name
like thunder in my heart
Feels like the end of the world
slipping myself into darkness eternal

This poem was written in the bunk during a weekend guard, the persona was lamenting the fact that being singular is pathethic; with no one to share his whiskey, drowning his sorrows pitifully alone, on Sept, 24th, 2006.

:- drowning in an imperfection world

Imperfection
by Melvin (the persona)

I'm constantly protesting that inner beauty is a plain lie,
because its hard to keep my spirit from breaking every time I cry-
and b R e A k down completely (inside).
Every time we c r e a k beneath the pressure of,
insecurity,
we lose all sense of inner beauty.
Maybe we just need to remember what it was like before the superficial masked our
hearts in stone.
I'm so lost right now that my reflection is unknown.
So I stare trying to remember how beautiful I felt when I was younger.
Before we were all clones.

Youth - that's beautiful.
Unspoiled innocence.

The child, before he grew up,
into a f r a c t u re d (shell)...
wrapped in an artifical blanket of self hate- self fabricated.
For no reason except...
media influence,
peer pressure for perfection,
and a cult of gloosy, paper cut out, models.
Stick figurines posing as supernatural beings and gods in the eyes of children,
lacking the strength to stand up and be at ease with who they are.
The child wearing an infectious smile and sparkle in her eye-
the kind that lip gloss, built of adonis and eye shimmer could never imitate.
He's beautiful,
on the outside because it comes from within and then he
f a d e s a w a y ______ before my eyes.
And I feel like a f
a
l
l
e
n
angel,
I use to be so special and now every time I try to fly I fall to pieces in the sky.

I know in my heart,my inner beauty... is the smile,
the one that graces, only, my face,
that reaches my eyes and radiates from inside.
That's beautiful.

My inner beauty may be ugly to the rest of the world,
and when that doesn't make me cry,
that's beautiful.

Imperfections make us beautiful,
Without them we'd all be the same,
vain,
superficial and lifeless.
That's me,
that's the me after I let go and forgot the beauty of my imperfections.

Still I'm just another disposable cliché.
There's nothing I can say that hasn't been said before.
I'm the adolescent (at least for now) with overused metaphors and over expressed expressions.
I'm not the only one,
drowning in imperfection.

This poem was composed, when the persona felt the need to address that imperfection is considered as an identity to each individual in the society, on Sept, 16th, 2006.

:- relighting that smile

The Smile
by C. Sow

A smile as cheerful as spring's day
Apollo's ascent can scare compete.
That radiant expression; that uplifting ray.
Your smile makes one's day complete.
Bringing zest and good cheer to all who see
Blessed are those smiled upon by thee.

Broader the smile, deeper the mirth
Encased within that pulsing bosom
Of he, whos smile is heaven on earth.
Like that of a flower's endearing blossom.
Feel the enthusiasm of life replete
Your smile like solid ground beneath our feet.

Your smile, like a bountiful God's boon,
Making those touched, joyously swoon.

This poem was specially sent-in to address the persona's frequent megawatt smiles (in pictures) and was composed by his very good friend, who's currently residing and reading philosophy in melbourne.

:- in touch with your senses

Sinuous Sensory
by Melvin (the persona)

I breath to see this world once
scenting the decaying woods in trance
Maximising my breathe to miniature wealth
catch me no more; for I attaining self-stealth

I aim to see this world
witnessing the sickly living with much frail
With watched self reproach and
self-disintegration turning to veracity
garnering my last sight in grave dismay

I yoke for my realist aural
pondering over the versatile mother nature
Unleashing moments of volatile furies
deafening and paralysing my innate curries

I budded worldly magnificents
glamourising extravagent garnishes within dishes
Tasting the global gentry norms
agonising misfortunate famine diseases form

I live to feel satisfied
stimulating every hormones and testosterones of mine
Erecting vertically world's greatest fires
pleasurising my much needed desires

This poem was written to discuss about the human's most valuable gift (or god's creation): our five senses, on Oct, 23rd, 2005

:- the coffee stain

for you, my special friend...

The Coffee Stain
by Melvin (the persona)

Your smile,
Your classy stature,
Your cherished concerns for me,
Curves appreciably like the crescent of the coffee stain.

With half of the stain,
Symbolises my most trusted love and respect for you.
The lingering half of the tinge,
Shall stained with my awe esteem of you.

Lord created us,
And decreed the eternal halo between the two of us.
Pray thou, pray thee
For the joyous celebration of our astounding unision.

I yield for your presence day by day.
With much love and eagerness, come what may,
Gracing each day with hopeful pray,
Like the coffee stain; shalt our friendship stay.

The uncountable angles of the brunette arc,
Our uncountable experiences it shall mark.
Rejoicing our friendship with the common heart of an obdurate stain,
Coming forth for the quest in merging as one.

This poem was composed 3 years ago, when he has gained inspirations after seeing his notebook pages being stained by a Starbucks coffee mug.

:- seeing "it" in a different spectrum

Why do we fear death when we know it is unavoidable?


'When I have fears that I may cease to be'
by John Keats (1795 - 1821)

When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain,
Before high-piled books, in charact'ry,
Hold like rich garners the full ripened grain;
When I behold, upon how night's starred face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love-then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.

--- [ BREAK ] ---

Death is inevitable.

Life and death is like a spinning wheel. An onwards, ongoing revelation of unpredictable happenings. We celebrate birth with joy. And yet, we weep sorrowfully for death. Similar to a water mill, the water wheel will continue to spin with the presence of water. The spinnning action will cease when there is no on-flowing of the water (the presence of drought); and that clearly resembles and reflects on the begins of our death.

The fear for death should be embraced with much sense of consolation. We should live everyday to the fullest and warmly usher the gift of our tomorrow, our future. Every day, the sight of dawn warms our heart and console us with the clear signifance of the golden words, "We have survive for another day".

Indeed, life is exceptionally short. With only 24 hours a day and 3600 seconds per hour, we have to learn (eventually) how to organise and maximise our limited time span. Have we even consider the time taken, to keep our heart and soul in absolute solitude?

And yes, death awaits us. It is lurking at every crevices of our lives. Whether you like it or not, a twisted plan of God wil land you up in the forth dimension; awaiting judgement. The balancing scales between charity and misdeed.

Embracing rationalism and applying such notion may seems to be a laborious task to some. Optimism shall be. Pessimism may be. Each of us are given the entity, the right to make such life choice. Being optimistic will get you far, but at the expense of your realism. Pessimism works the otherwise.

To all, the connotation for death is melancholic. It is a communal taboo to speak or discuss about death, even in the advanced millennium.

I tried to see death in a fantasy manner. The presence of angels descending from the heavenly dimension, and extending their petite-size arms to me, in hope to receive death in a glorious manner. I welcome their presence wholesomely. A living life is precious. Doing or engaging in things, which we derived joy and pleasure, satisfy and balance out our emotional equation on the fear of death and happiness.

So... what are you waiting for?

:- an introduction to the beginning

in·sight (ĭn'sīt') - n.
1. The capacity to discern the true nature of a situation; penetration.
2. The act or outcome of grasping the inward or hidden nature of things or of perceiving in an intuitive manner.

insights and thoughts.
what would they be, if they are not shared or commented by the world?

he chose to take this, as an avenue, to begin his sharings.

and so, here it goes...